Tag Archives: parents

When Parents Die, Who Do They Become?

Posted on January 26, 2024 by Bob Ritzema

Ed (not his real name), who lives with me at Barnabas House, just lost his father. His mother died a few years ago.  His dad was 92 years old and under hospice care. Ed’s relationship with his dad was very … Continue reading →

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When Fraility Arrives

Posted on February 19, 2019 by Bob Ritzema

Recently, David Sedaris wrote an article about his family, in particular his elderly father, who fell on the eve of his 95th birthday party. When family arrived he fell again and was disoriented, so he was admitted to a rehab … Continue reading →

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Healthcare Decisions for Our Parents and Us

Posted on May 15, 2017 by Bob Ritzema

In a recent New York Times article, Dr. Mikkael A. Sekeres, a cancer specialist. told of his first meeting with a 97 year-old patient. The elderly man had recently moved into an assisted living facility in Cleveland in order to … Continue reading →

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Conversing With Dementia

Posted on September 14, 2015 by Bob Ritzema

I recently read a Next Avenue interview with Jonathan Kozol, author of the memoir The Theft of Memory: Losing my Father One Day at a Time. Jonathan’s father Harry, a psychiatrist and neurologist, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in his late 80s … Continue reading →

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Dad, Descartes, and Dementia

Posted on December 27, 2014 by Bob Ritzema

My dad’s dementia worsened over the course of several years. It was quite disturbing to see his memory loss, confusion, difficulty expressing himself, and inability to perform even simple tasks. The changes in him raised questions for me, questions which I … Continue reading →

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Are Elderly Parents an Emotional Weight for Their Children?

Posted on October 23, 2014 by Bob Ritzema

I recently wrote about medical ethicist Ezekiel Emanuel’s Atlantic article explaining why he doesn’t want to live past age 75. I left off without having discussed one of his contentions, that living a long time can have a negative impact on … Continue reading →

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James A. Ritzema, RIP

Posted on September 5, 2014 by Bob Ritzema

You’re never ready. My dad had heart surgery 25 years ago, carotid artery surgery 13 years ago, and memory problems for about 10 years that eventually cascaded into severe dementia. Three months ago, he reached the point where he was … Continue reading →

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“Can You Spare Me a Dime?” Getting Ready For the Journey.

Posted on July 1, 2014 by Bob Ritzema

My mom and I were my dad’s primary caregivers as dementia gradually chewed at his mind. I helped them in their home for almost two years, until, at last, my mother made the difficult decision to have dad admitted to … Continue reading →

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The Death of a Parent

Posted on February 20, 2014 by Bob Ritzema

In January, the New Yorker website had an excellent (though rather long) article by novelist Mark Slouka on the effect that his father’s death had on him. He describes himself now as “orphaned at fifty-five, nobody’s son, trying to plot … Continue reading →

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Interview: Caring for an Elderly Parent

Posted on January 11, 2014 by Bob Ritzema

As discussed in a previous post, in 2012 39% of adults in the U.S. served as a caregiver for an elderly family member. The numbers of caregivers are expected to increase as the population ages. I sat down recently to … Continue reading →

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