Category Archives: Relationships

Identity, Purpose, and Belonging in Retirement

Posted on December 14, 2016 by

Older workers preparing for retirement (or those, like me, part way through the process)  deal not only with logistics and practical questions, but also with questions regarding how to live our lives. Three sets of issues that retirees face–issues of … Continue reading →

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Caregiving: Imperfections and Opportunities

Posted on November 21, 2016 by

I recently read an article by Next Avenue writer Chris Hewitt about Bob Morris’ book Bobby Wonderful: An Imperfect Son Buries His Parents. The book is an account of Morris’ involvement with his elderly parents towards the end of their … Continue reading →

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The Benefit of Almost Dying

Posted on October 26, 2016 by

Within the course of a couple days I had conversations with two people who had nearly died recently. Each of them was hospitalized in critical condition, and in each case family members were summoned because the patient was more likely … Continue reading →

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When Your Adult Child Won’t Talk to You

Posted on September 26, 2016 by

“What to do when your grown child won’t talk to you?” asked a recent article at Next Avenue. The author, Jill Smolowe, states that she takes the following approach to close relationships: “For as long as I can remember, I’ve … Continue reading →

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Do You Need to Grieve Your Unfulfilled Expectations for an Adult Child?

Posted on August 17, 2016 by

As a therapist, I work regularly with people who are grieving some sort of loss. One of the most difficult losses handle is death of a child. Families used to be much larger than they are now and, prior to … Continue reading →

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A Mentor From Hell

Posted on July 5, 2016 by

According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, a mentor is “an experienced and trusted person who gives another person advice and help over a period of time.” We turn to mentors to get some sense of what lies ahead and how … Continue reading →

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Look Around. Your Family Consists of–Surprise!–Complex Human Beings

Posted on June 16, 2016 by

I recently read Rod Dreher’s book How Dante Can Save Your Life. Dreher wrote the book when he was struggling with depression resulting from family problems. Decades earlier he had moved away from his family in Louisiana and established a successful … Continue reading →

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Learning About Life From The Obituaries

Posted on May 30, 2016 by

Do you read the obituaries? Though I’m getting to the age where I probably should, I seldom do. Just as pedestrians tend to depend on others to look for traffic when crossing the road, I depend on my mom and … Continue reading →

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What To Hope For Now?

Posted on March 18, 2016 by

On her blog “Everyone Has a Story,” Bird recently wrote about hope in midlife. She notes that in childhood, we all had hopes for what we would be when we grew up, in our twenties our hopes had to do … Continue reading →

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“45 Years” and Past Selves

Posted on February 23, 2016 by

I caught a showing of the movie 45 Years over the weekend.  A couple–Kate (Charlotte Rampling) and Geoff (Tom Courtenay)–are preparing to celebrate 45 years of marriage when a letter related to Geoff’s past threatens to derail their relationship. The letter … Continue reading →

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